:: Mr and Mrs Wright - A Story from Caithness in Scotland.

Our story is set in Caithness which is at the top RIGHT hand corner of Scotland.
It's most famous place is John O'Groats and to get there you follow the road RIGHT to the very end.
Here live Mr and Mrs WRIGHT, a retired couple you may have heard about in earlier years.

One night Mr and Mrs WRIGHT were at home, sitting by their fireside.
Mrs WRIGHT was busy with her sewing, pinning two pieces of fabric RIGHT sides together. On a table to her RIGHT was a pile of patchwork and quilting magazines.
To her LEFT was a lamp, placed just RIGHT to illuminate her work.
'Put another peat on the fire, dear.' she said to Mr WRIGHT.
'RIGHT ho.' he said. 'I'll do it RIGHT away.'

They settled down to watch her favourite TV programme, 'Strictly Come Dancing'.
It took her back to her own dancing days and she'd even suggested that she and Mr WRIGHT could go to dancing lessons.
'I've got two LEFT feet' was his response.
It was very difficult to get him to do anything like that these days.

Mrs WRIGHT was actually quite worried although she hadn't said so to Mr WRIGHT.
He just sat in his chair all day with the TV LEFT on even if there was nothing worth watching.
Mr WRIGHT had always been an active man, too busy working to have any hobbies, but now he'd retired and LEFT the world of work behind him.
LEFT to his own devices he wouldn't even make a cup of tea.

Mrs WRIGHT had plenty to do with her time even though their family had grown up and LEFT home.
On Sundays she sang in the church choir. On Monday afternoons she went to Textile Artists. Tuesdays and Saturdays were her quilting days.
That LEFT Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays for WRI, Sugar Craft, Keep Fit and taking her turn helping out at the charity shop on the day she went into town to get her messages.
It didn't seem RIGHT to Mrs WRIGHT that she had so many friends and so many interests and her husband just sat at home.

Mrs WRIGHT thought about her husband.
What was the matter with him?
Then it came to her. He was bored.
She'd hit the nail RIGHT on the head.
'RIGHT' said Mrs WRIGHT to herself. 'I'll have to do something RIGHT away.'

Next day she began asking her friends what their menfolk did to occupy their spare time. She was amazed. It seemed these men LEFT no stone unturned when it came to raising money for local charities as well as running clubs and generally helping out.
She was LEFT in no doubt that these husbands, partners, fathers, sons and brothers were all RIGHT-hand men of one organisation or another.
Sports such as golf, squash, badminton, football, fishing, cycling, and shooting kept many more on the RIGHT track.
One lady said her husband LEFT home at the crack of dawn to watch birds.
Another two said they could usually find their husbands busy working on the Isabella Fortuna whenever the weather was RIGHT for messing about in boats.
Music was popular too. One lady's son was in the Pipe Band and another's husband played the banjo.
Mrs WRIGHT was fascinated by one quilter's description of her husband practising his new hobby, juggling.
He had to look straight ahead whilst juggling balls from his LEFT hand to his RIGHT hand, LEFT RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT until he got into the rhythm.

LEFT RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT

LEFT RIGHT

LEFT

It took a lot of effort to get it RIGHT.

Her friends offered suggestions. Their ideas came at her LEFT, RIGHT and centre.
Would Mr WRIGHT like to help out driving the Laurandy minibus?
West Caithness Community Transport were looking for volunteers.
Learning Gaelic might be RIGHT up his street.
Crossroads would welcome any support he could offer.
One lady said it wasn't RIGHT for such a fit and active man to sit and do nothing.
He should go RIGHT along to the Bowling Club or to Hospital Radio and he'd soon find himself RIGHT back in the thick of things and then he'd be RIGHT as rain.

Quite RIGHTly Mrs WRIGHT did not wish to rush into anything.
There's a RIGHT way to do such things.
She'd have to get her husband into the RIGHT frame of mind.
He'd have to be in the RIGHT mood.
Nothing should be LEFT to chance. She must have a plan. She'd WRITE it down.
She had to think of just the RIGHT thing to do and her husband must be LEFT in no doubt that it was all his own idea.

She slept on it but she still didn't know what to do for the best.
And then the problem solved itself.

Mr WRIGHT was struggling to cut out an article from the P & J.
'We ought to get some LEFT handed scissors for you.' said Mrs WRIGHT. 'Things aren't easy if you're LEFT-handed.'
'It's no problem really' said her husband. 'Being LEFT-handed goes RIGHT back in my family. We've got lots of twins on my father's side.
Did you know 22% of twins are LEFT-handed?
Over 90% of people who aren't twins are RIGHT-handed.
I was reading about it in the newspaper.
Lots of really important people are LEFT-handed.
Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are LEFT-handers.
Winston Churchill was too.
I wonder if we've got any important people in our family.
I ought to find out about our family tree.'

And before she knew it Mrs WRIGHT found she had a husband who was always busy. First he joined the Family History Society.
He went to computer classes at North Highland College.
Then he started going to the Archive at the Library in Wick.
He visited Caithness Horizons in Thurso.
Now he was going through old photographs at Wick Heritage Centre.

He'd thought he might be related to the aeroplane inventors Orville and Wilbur WRIGHT.
But now he believed it much more likely the fat lady Clarissa Dickson WRIGHT was a far off cousin.
They'd have both been pleased if they were related to Billy WRIGHT, the footballer who was married to Joy Beverley of the Beverley Sisters.

With a great sigh of relief Mrs WRIGHT could now think about a little problem of her own. She had to sew an heirloom quilt for someone special for a challenge competition for Caithness Quilters.
The title was 'Singing the Blues' and she was trying to think of a piece of music as her inspiration.

Well, I never felt more like singin' the blues . . . . . . .

One quilter had chosen Stravinsky's ballet music 'The RITE of Spring'.

Rhythm and Blues was another possibility. The RIGHTeous Brothers' blue-eyed soul music was picked by a lady who was making a Celtic design called 'Unchained Melody'.

Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch . . . . . . .

Mrs WRIGHT quite liked 'Tears for Souvenirs are all you LEFT me' which was a Ken Dodd Number One for 5 weeks back in 1965, but it was a bit sad.

Tears for souvenirs are all you've LEFT me
Memories of a love you never meant . . . . . .

She'd also thought about 'I'm gonna wash that man RIGHT out of my hair' from South Pacific.

Wash him out, dry him out, Push him out, fly him out, Cancel him and let him go!
Yea, sister!
I'm gonna wash that man RIGHT outa my hair . . . . . .

Last night she had dreamed up a quilt called 'Walk RIGHT back'. She could make it for the kind friend in the Monday Morning Walking Group who had baked her a cake on her birthday.

Walk RIGHT back to me this minute
Bring your love to me, don't send it
I'm so lonesome every day . . . . . .

One afternoon Mrs WRIGHT was ironing some fabric for a Quilters' workshop.
They were going to piece RIGHT-angled triangles.
She didn't usually enjoy ironing but this was quite relaxing as she moved the iron LEFT and RIGHT across the printed cottons.
LEFT and RIGHT, LEFT and RIGHT - she'd got nicely into a rhythm.
The radio was on. She'd tuned in to Steve WRIGHT in the Afternoon on Radio 2.
He was playing an old record.
It took her RIGHT back to when she and Mr WRIGHT were young.

'Listen dear' she called out.'They're playing our tune.'
That made up her mind for her.
Her heirloom quilt would be for her husband. That was only RIGHT and proper.
She could see the design in her mind's eye RIGHT now.
There would be gold for the golden sun, blue for the blue and windy sea and she would quilt hearts on the quilt to remind them both of their honeymoon in 1962 when they'd listened to Frank Sinatra sing: 'I LEFT my heart in San Francisco'.

I LEFT my heart in San Francisco, high on a hill it calls to me . . . . . . .

And so our story all turned out all RIGHT in the end.

End-of-Document